Month Five

Are you five months? Already? That means you’re almost six months, which is a half of a year, round that up and it’s a whole year. So pretty much you’re 18 already. Five months seems so big. YOU’RE so big. And yet, you are still a baby. You’re still my teeny tiny baby wanting to eat everything that your mouth comes in contact with. It’s a whole new sensation with those two teeth of yours.  But then …as teeny tiny you might be, you are definitely bigger than a month ago.

Bird …why are you so edible? I am amazed that despite the number of times I bite on your cheeks through the day, I’m never satisfied. No wonder I am always hungry for more. If I were to write this yesterday, you might be reading about a clingy baby, because let’s face it, you’re a tad clingy. But today, as always, I am grateful for that. You surprise me with your love. You giggled when I kissed you. You screamed with delight when I bit your chin. You bit me back when I offered you mine. Any complaint against you immediately melted away. And I was in love all over again. You’ve wrapped me around your little hand and you gnaw on it all day long as you do everything else at this stage. And I let you. 

We make each other happy, we laugh with each other, we cry with each other, we hug each other, we kiss each other, we lock eyes, we communicate in ways no one else can understand, we get frustrated with each other many times, but still we both need each other for reasons I can’t explain. I need you just as much as you need me. I look at you for comfort and love just as much as you look at me for it. We are two people so dependent on each other that I can see both of us struggling for independence someday.  Believe it or not, I might complain about your clinginess but I am quite clingy too. 

 You are your mommy’s girl already. A mind of her own. I like it. And daddy’s girl for your enormous personality, I like that even more. I would love for you to have an opinion on your likes and dislikes. I would love for you to be ambitious and pursue any path that you are passionate about. I would love for you to have a mind of your own and not let society decide for you. I would love for you to always smile, always giggle, always chuckle as you do now when mommy kissed you or when daddy blows raspberries on your belly.  You can light up the world with your smile and the laugh that follows. We can’t go anywhere without people commenting on how alert and personable you are, and you’re always sure to thank them with one of your famous grins.   

You know the saying “you have to crawl before you walk”? I fear this isn’t going to be true for you.  At the rate you’re going you might skip the crawling fundamentals all together.  I hope this doesn’t set you up to be a long term rule breaker. From your belly position, you can shoot right up onto your hands and tippy toes, as if standing up to walk. You are perfecting your eye-hand coordination with every gasp of the nose or bat at a toy. There is no mistaking your intentions in your movements.

It is in your smiles that your dad and I find joy as we never knew before. It is in your laughter that we find our laughter. It is in your curiosity of the world around you that we find our childhood. It is in your cooing that we find words of unconditional love. It is in your cuddles that we find the warmth, the love, and the contentment of a life lived well. Lilly, always remember that no matter where you are in the world and what stage of life you are in when you are reading this, there are always two people waiting for you at home whose hearts beat just for you.